LET ME GO (Eva Rae Thomas Mystery Book 5) Read online

  “Argh!”

  I threw my stapler across the room in anger. It knocked against the wall and fell to the floor. Matt came rushing into my room, looking confused.

  “What are you doing in here?”

  “I can’t figure it out, Matt,” I said, feeling tears well up in my eyes. I had been at it all afternoon and gotten nowhere. I had been looking through all of the gamers that FaZeYourFeaRs had teamed up with in the past twenty-four hours, but the list felt endless. And they were all so alike; there was no way of telling who his next victim would be. I had tried to cross-reference them and find similarities with his earlier victims, but all of them seemed to have the same differences and similarities. There was nothing that stood out to me, and time was passing. For every hour that went by, we were getting closer to this killer striking again.

  It was unbearable.

  Matt grabbed me in his arms and held me close. “It’s okay, Eva Rae. You’re doing what you can.”

  “But it’s not enough, Matt. It’s not good enough. Look at what happened to poor Jamal’s mother, Mrs. Robinson. Look at what happened to Amal Bukhari. I knew they were his next victims, but it didn’t matter.”

  Matt sighed and held me close. “You can’t do any more than what you do, Eva Rae. You’re wearing yourself out on this case. You can’t be so hard on yourself. How about you come downstairs and watch some TV or we could play cards? Or what about you and I go out for dinner tonight, huh? Your mother will be home and can watch the kids for a few hours. Let me take you out for once. Just you and me.”

  “It’s sweet, Matt, but I can’t. I would never be able to relax anyway.”

  Matt gave me a disappointed look and let go of me.

  “You’re sad,” I said.

  “Yeah, well, can you blame me? We never do anything together, just the two of us anymore. Meanwhile, you’re constantly running around somewhere hanging out with that Liam guy, eating dinners with him, and having drinks. Why can’t you do that with me? Why is he more important?”

  I gave him a look. “You’re kidding me, right? Tell me you’re kidding right now because I really hope you are.”

  “No. I’m very serious. I can’t believe you won’t go out to dinner with me, but you can race across the country to meet up with him…sleeping in hotels and eating expensive dinners.”

  I shook my head. “This isn’t happening. Tell me it isn’t happening.”

  “Well, it is. I’m tired of having to beg you to hang out with me, Eva Rae. I moved in so we could spend more time together, but so far, you haven’t given me anything.”

  “So, what? You moved in for my sake?” I asked.

  “No. I moved in for us. But so far, you’re not in it at all.”

  “Well, excuse me if I’m trying to save lives here, Matt. Silly me; I thought you might think that was important, being a detective and all.”

  “That was low. You know, I take you very seriously. And I am the only one who is. But the fact is, you’re always trying to save someone, Eva Rae. Even though you know just as well as I do that you can’t save everyone.”

  “Well, I will still try,” I said. “I can’t just sit still when I know someone is about to be killed. I thought you’d understand this.”

  “You’re running,” he said.

  “I’m what?”

  “All this. It’s a cover for the fact that you can’t stand being here. You’re running. You’re running away from me constantly and from the grief.”

  “What are we talking about now, Matt?”

  “You haven’t cried. Not even once since Chad died.”

  I exhaled and rubbed my forehead. “Not that again.”

  “I’m serious, Eva Rae. You haven’t shed a single tear since he was shot. At the funeral, you were like an ice sculpture.”

  “Wow, what a picture. You’re a true poet, Matt.”

  “What’s going on with you? Why are you constantly running away from me?” he asked.

  “I’m not,” I said, avoiding looking at him. “I’m just…busy. People are dying here, Matt.

  I can’t just let this guy get away with it. No one sees it.”

  “No, it’s more than that, Eva Rae. Is it that guy?”

  “Liam?”

  “Yes, is something going on with you two? Is that it?”

  “Matt, please. No. His son was killed, and he wants to find the person who did it; that’s all. I don’t even like him. He’s a prick. But he is good to have on hand when I want to get to those celebrity gamers. When they hear he wants to see them, they want to meet. I can’t get to them by myself.”

  “That means it’s me then,” he said. “If there’s nothing going on, then that means you’re running from me, not to Liam.”

  He stared at me, and our eyes met briefly when I saw something change in his.

  “You blame me for Chad’s death, don’t you? I’ve asked you this before, but you didn’t give me an answer. I want one now.”

  I rose to my feet. “No…Matt, I…”

  He shook his head, backing up. “No. I think I’m right. He took a bullet for me, and every time you look at me, you’re reminded of that. That’s why you can’t stand being with me or even in this house. That’s why you’re burying yourself in all this instead of being with the ones who love you. You feel guilty about it, about feeling this way, but you can’t help yourself.”

  My shoulders slumped. I stared at Matt, speechless. There were so many things I wanted to say in this moment, so many words I could have said to calm him down, to reassure him that it wasn’t the way things were. But they never came because they wouldn’t be true.

  Matt sucked in air, then nodded. “Yeah…that’s what I thought. I’m being punished for something I had no say in, but I guess that’s just life, right? It’s just that unfair.”

  Matt walked to the door and opened it. I took a step toward him, wanting to stop him, but then I paused for a second too long, and he was gone.

  As I sat on my bed, feeling heavy at heart, I heard him go to the boys’ room and get Elijah. I could hear them rummaging around for a few minutes, then jumped when I heard the front door slam shut. To my surprise, I didn’t cry when I heard Matt’s car start up and drive away. I didn’t shed a tear. But I did feel like someone had just ripped out a big chunk of my heart.

  Chapter 42

  “We need to talk.”

  Chris Branson, Amal’s agent, closed the door behind him and walked to the window next to her hospital bed. Amal tried to sit up, but couldn’t. She had gone through yet another surgery the day before and felt awful. Her brother, Samir, was sitting in a chair by her bed, scrolling on his phone.

  “What’s up?” she asked, strained with pain.

  Her agent rubbed his forehead. “I take it you haven’t heard what happened yesterday?”

  “Well, duh. I was kind of busy all day yesterday.”

  “Oh, yes, the surgery,” Chris said. “I forgot for a minute.”

  “I sure didn’t,” she said with an exhale. “But what is it? What happened?”

  Chris shook his head and looked briefly out the window, then back at her. “It’s awful. Officer Downey’s kid was attacked by some mom and her kids. They beat him up.”

  Amal grimaced. “How bad is it?”

  “Bad. Real bad. He’s still in the ICU. Hit his head against a lamppost and cracked his skull open. They don’t know if he’ll ever wake up.”

  “Oh, dear Lord. That is terrible.”

  “I know, but there’s more.”

  Amal looked at him. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

  “It was all recorded by some other kids and has gone viral. The mother and the girls have been arrested, but the reporters got to them first. There was an on-camera interview with her where she says that it was all for you.”

  Amal’s eyes grew wide. “For me?”

  Chris nodded. “Because of what happened to you. To punish Officer Downey for shooting you.”

  Amal placed a ha
nd on her chest. “That’s awful.”

  Chris shook his head and looked out at the view again. “They say it’s because of what you said on TV, on Good Morning America.”

  “What?”

  “You said something about taking matters into your own hands. You encouraged people to vigilantism.”

  “I did no such thing,” Amal said, appalled. “I told them to come out for a protest. I never told anyone to beat up some kid. What on earth is happening?”

  “I need you to be careful what you say from now on,” Branson said. “You’ve got to think about it more than once before you say stuff like that. You make all these videos from your hospital bed, and millions of people see them and sympathize with you because of what happened to you.”

  Amal stared at him, surprised at this. “You’re telling me to censor myself?”

  Samir looked up from his phone. His eyes met Amal’s, and he shook his head. “You can’t do that.”

  “I’m not saying you should censor yourself. But you’ve got to realize what kind of power you hold right now,” Branson said. “And be cautious. That’s all. Maybe you should even hold back on your language toward the police, and if I’m being perfectly honest, I’d advise you to cancel the protest march. You’re in no condition to follow through with it, and I’m afraid it’s gonna end badly.”

  Amal couldn’t believe it. Wasn’t her agent supposed to be supportive of her? She shook her head, even though the gesture sent shockwaves of pain through her body. She lifted her finger at him.

  “It’s not my fault there are idiots out there who take what I say the wrong way. I am sorry, but I’m not going to stop what I’ve started. This is probably the most important thing I have ever done in my life. This is a movement involving millions of people, and if you can’t back me up in this, then you’re not the right agent for me.”

  Chris Branson looked at her, then lifted his eyebrows. “Wow. I guess I’m not the right agent then. But before I leave, I want to warn you. If you follow through with this, it’s gonna end in a bloodbath, and you’ll be the one who has to live with the guilt. I hope you’re prepared to do that.”

  “Oh, I’m more than prepared. Now, if you’ll please leave, I have a video to make. My viewers are worried and want to know if my surgery went well yesterday.”

  Chapter 43

  “Where are Matt and Elijah?”

  Olivia came into the kitchen as I was eating my cereal the next morning. I had put extra sugar on it, thinking it might cheer me up, but it didn’t really help.

  “They left,” Christine said, glaring at me. “Mom kicked them out.”

  “I did no such thing,” I said, putting my spoon down in the milk so hard that milk splattered on the breakfast counter.

  “They left? What do you mean they left?” Olivia squealed. “Are they not coming back?”

  “We don’t know,” Christine said. “Mom had some fight with Matt last night, and then he and Elijah left the house carrying their suitcases.”

  “You’re kidding me, right? I go on one sleepover at a friend’s house, and when I come back, you’ve ruined everything.” Olivia grabbed a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch forcefully. “I don’t know how you do it. You just keep pushing him out of your life. How many times do you think he’s going to take you back?”

  “Why do you both assume that it was my fault?” I asked, surprised at them.

  “Because it usually is your fault, Mom,” Christine said and got up from her stool. She went to the sink and poured out the leftovers, then placed her bowl in the dishwasher.

  “Since when did you start cleaning up after yourself?” I asked.

  “Since Matt told us to do it,” she said, then walked past me, giving me a disappointed glare.

  “She was getting used to having Matt here,” Olivia said after Christine had left. “She was starting to like him. You wanna know why? Because he was around. Yes, he worked full time, but when he was home, he was here, hanging out with us. He didn’t stay in his room, avoiding having to deal with us.”

  “Very subtle, Olivia,” I said and got up as well. I put my bowl in the dishwasher while my poor heart was aching.

  “It’s gonna destroy Alex; you do realize that, right?” Olivia said. “He loves Matt and was so excited to share a room with Elijah. How’s he taking it so far?”

  I exhaled tiredly and rubbed my forehead.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me, Mom. You haven’t told him; have you?”

  “Yes, I told him,” I protested. “I said they went to visit Elijah’s grandmother for a few days.”

  “Why didn’t you tell him the truth?” Olivia asked.

  “Because I don’t know what will happen yet,” I said. “I don’t know if they’ll come back or not, and I don’t want to break Alex’s heart for no reason.”

  “Who’s gonna break my heart?” Alex’s small voice came from the door. My little guy had gotten himself dressed even though he had turned the shirt inside out. His hair was still messy from sleeping.

  Olivia gave me a look. “Now, you have the chance to tell him, Mom.”

  Alex approached the counter and crawled up on a stool. “Tell me what?”

  “Tell you that we’re out of Cocoa Krispies,” I said and grabbed the box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. “So you’ll have to have these instead. I hope it’s okay.”

  Alex made a funny face. “Of course, it’s okay. I love those.”

  I poured him some, my heart beating fast in my chest. Olivia left, sending me a disapproving glare. I knew she was right. If Matt and Elijah weren’t coming back, I’d have to tell the kid at some point. But that meant I had to admit it to myself first, and I didn’t want to do that. To be honest, I didn’t want to deal with any of it. I didn’t know what I wanted except to find the Swatter and take him down for good.

  Chapter 44

  I watched the video of Officer Downey’s kid being beaten up with great horror. I followed up by listening to an interview with the crazy mother who believed she was entitled to take action against a kid because of what his father had done.

  It absolutely terrified me.

  The poor kid.

  I couldn’t believe a mother could be so irresponsible and help her daughters attack another child by holding the kid down. What kind of a mother did something like that?

  Luckily, they had all been arrested now, but it was too late for Nathan Downey. He was fighting for his life in the ICU, and his life would never be the same again, even if he did make it.

  Neither would his father’s.

  “It’s like the domino effect,” I said to my dad when I spoke to him later. “Like what happened to Amal Bukhari is causing ripples across the water, and it keeps affecting people. It’s like it won’t stop. The video of the attack is all over the internet, and so is the interview with the mom where she told why she did it. Because of what Amal Bukhari had said on TV. To end police brutality.”

  “Fight fire with fire,” my dad said. “Unfortunately, it’s often what happens.”

  “There are no winners in this,” I said. “That’s what Matt said.”

  “Well, he’s right about that.”

  I paused when thinking about Matt. “Do you think I’m running?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Matt seems to think that’s why I’m throwing myself at this case, why I’m devoting all my time to finding this killer because I don’t want to deal with Chad’s death.”

  My dad went quiet on the other end. I realized it was probably asking too much of him. We hadn’t known each other very long.

  “He might have a point,” he said. “Dealing with grief is tough, and we all do it in our own way. For you, it might be digging into work and burying yourself with it for a little while.”

  “So, you don’t think there’s anything wrong with me doing it?” I asked.

  “That’s not for me to say,” he said. “You’ll have to listen to your own heart, sweetie. Only you know what is best for you.”


  “That was very diplomatically put,” I said with a chuckle.

  “Well, I like both you and Matt. I just hope you can figure things out.”

  I sighed and sipped my coffee. “Yeah, me too. I also wish I could find the Swatter and stop him before he kills again. I’ve been up and working on it for most of the night, but none of the names you gave me stand out. I’ve Googled each and every one of them and matched their profiles with the earlier victims to see if there is a deeper pattern to reveal which of the twelve names you gave me will be next. But nothing has come out of it. Absolutely nothing.”

  “We’ll keep working on it,” he said. “It’s all we can do.”

  “I just hope we can figure it out in time. I won’t be able to live with myself if more people are killed or even hurt by this guy. It’s gotta stop. He simply has got to be stopped.”

  Chapter 45

  Susan fought her way through the fog and finally managed to open her eyes. She blinked a few times while reality came back to her. Her head was pounding, and everything was in a hazy light. It took a few seconds for her to remember where she was and what had happened. The last thing she remembered was going to the bathroom for the tenth time this morning, thinking that it felt like the baby was having a dance party on her bladder.

  The baby. Is the baby okay?

  Susan remembered coming out of the bathroom and then the taste of the nasty fingers covering her mouth. She remembered biting those fingers and someone screaming behind her. Then she remembered trying to run away, getting loose, and then…then the sound of the person behind her swinging something through the air and it hitting her in the back of her head. After that, she remembered nothing else.

  Someone had been in her house. Someone had tried to kill her. Was this someone still here?

  Susan felt the baby kick and sighed with relief. She was okay. Everything seemed okay. There was no unexplained pain and no bleeding. The baby was fine.

  That was more than you could say for Susan’s head. It was aching painfully, and she closed her eyes for a few seconds to try and make it go away. When she opened them again, there was someone standing, hovering, and bending down above her. Seeing this, she tried to move but realized she couldn’t. Her hands were tied behind her back, and something that tasted awful had been stuffed inside her mouth. The eyes looking down at her were unknown to her, the face covered by a ski mask.